ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
