she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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