dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
