I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Pants are for mortals
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
