How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
