i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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