at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
