Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
