I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just cropdusted the office
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
