gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
