he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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