if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
false alarm. still invincible.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Randomize
