I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
