I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
