Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He passed out mid-signature
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
