he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
