we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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