I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
