im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
