I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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