DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
