in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
