I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
