i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
