Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
