All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
