The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
