dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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