That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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