Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
