He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
