I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
