You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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