We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
