I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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