I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
