if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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