Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
