I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
