Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Randomize
