hotel room ftw
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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