I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
