Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
