no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
