Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
