ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
