Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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