i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
