They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
