Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
