I didn't shave. On purpose
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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