New invention idea: vibrating tampons
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
