You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
