The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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